A Little Broken

Sorry for the lack of posting. I just haven’t been doing anything differently lately. Lots of cross training. Lots of wishing I was running.

I have been dabbling in a few Crossfit workouts. I know I was the last to hear about this exercise program, but I just started incorporating some of their workouts about three weeks ago. However, I’m not the best at being dedicated to my strength programs, so I’m on and off with Crossfit too. After the 400 meter lunge workout on Tuesday, in which I guessed the distance and completed 380 lunges without stopping, I am still RIDICULOUSLY sore today. As in I woke up every time I tried to roll over in bed last night because merely pushing my legs against the sheets HURT SO BAD.

I then proceeded to have nightmares about doing my morning bike workout with such sore legs. It wasn’t pretty. So, long story short I didn’t go to the gym this morning. I made Matt breakfast instead. That’s a good thing too.

Also, sometime during my painful night I must have become frustrated with my watch and took it off. See, my watch has been coming apart piece by piece since starting a lot more training in the pool. The chlorine has made quick work of my poor watch strap. Last night was apparently the final straw. I went to put it back on this morning, but realized I had lost the last part of my strap. It was twisted into my bed sheets.

Here’s all the pieces. It has come apart one piece at a time, but I’ve saved them as if there is a way to put them back together.

Sad

 

I kind of feel like this today. Just a little bit detached. A little defeated. It’s March and I’m still not running.

Yes, I got an MRI about a week ago. Guess what? It didn’t show anything. Conclusion: Normal right foot.

I should be totally psyched, right? But I’m not, I still feel like I just don’t know anything. I mean, I couldn’t have made all this up. What about all that pain?! The ache, the tingling that came back after that hike a month ago?

I’ve been pain free for about 2 weeks, but I do not feel safe to start running. What’s wrong with me? A clean x-ray and MRI are just making me feel more confused instead of reassured.

It’s a rainy island morning here. Normally I hate the rain, but here on the island it is refreshing. Maybe it’s because I know the sun comes out literally seconds after the rain stops.

13 thoughts on “A Little Broken

  1. aww RIP Timex! those things definitely don’t last long against chlorine – I’ve been swimming more lately and mine is starting to do that too :-/. And Crossfit! I’ve definitely been curious about it, it sounds killer and I’m kinda scared haha.

    I know how you feel about the MRI thing too – like, if it HAD been fractured, you’d be able to see the original break on the MRI or even the X-ray…so I guess that means there never was one? And its not like you’d really have reason for phantom pain? I think those scans would honestly make me more confused than relieved too!! It’s like…probably a little scary to start running, you know? Especially since instead of knowing you fractured it but its now healed…you don’t know WHAT happened. Gah. Does it hurt/feel weird when you walk? This seems like somethin where the best way to test it would be a little run…but that’s also really scary since you don’t know what to expect! Mind-Boggling!!!! I think you definitely deserve to be patient with yourself though – if you don’t feel ready to start running, you definitely don’t need to feel rushed. Take some time to think, maybe do some research or talk to a doc about it or something…but there’s no pressure. At least, we all love you no matter whether you’re crosstraining, resting, or running! :-)

  2. I don’t usually refer to blog posts I’ve written when posting on other people’s blogs (anyone else think this is kind of rude?) but I pulled this sucker out for Amylee a few weeks ago so it was on my mind and maybe it can help you too:

    http://www.mormonmommyblogs.com/2011/02/running-and-scriptures.html

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling so down. If you lived close I’d invite you over for dinner and games so you could relax and take your mind off it.

  3. Take things day by day. We all have those days, weeks, months, years…You’ll get back to running again when you’re ready and it will welcome you with open arms. It always does.

    I have mixed feelings about crossfit. I did it for a year, and it enjoyed it while I was doing it (probably because of my competitive nature), but now that I’m no longer doing it, I don’t really miss it. I was always sore. I could just be a wimp, but I kinda wonder how healthy it is for your body to be breaking down the muscles so much so frequently. At any rate, hope you enjoy it. Hang in there, chica. Things will brighten up soon.

  4. Oh Cecily I am so so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It breaks my heart a little to hear that you are feeling broken. I really hope that you can start to put the peices back together and rebuild. Just one little peice at a time, you can do it my friend. As hard as things are right now try to stay positive because attitude always effects outcome.

    Thinking about you!

  5. Oh, your poor little watch!!! That is so sad. I’m also sorry for your legs… 380 lunges?! Worst nightmare ever!!! I think staying home and making Matt breakfast was a very good idea this morning. I tried that 15×1 mile bike workout yesterday… I got 12 and then had a heart attack.

    I think you’ll be running soon… Keep pushing forward!!!

  6. I TOTALLY FELT EXACTLY LIKE THIS LAST WEEK. I even told my husband, “If I don’t run at all, then I can’t get frustrated when I hurt and am forced not to run. It’s just easier that way.” I’m a mental case- even my PT says so.

    I think you should start with one easy run next week- a couple of miles, super easy pace, somewhere flat, and then wait a day or so to see how you feel. Don’t fear it! One run isn’t going to set you completely back after all this time.

  7. Cross fit kinda scares the crap out of me! It’s so intense. I feel like I would like it after I built a little muscle. At first it would totally kill!! I can totally relate to not feeling safe just because all the tests come back clear. I hate not having answers to what was giving me pain, and running again scares me because I don’t want to get injured again!! I hope you manage to get out there soon though!

  8. It’s rainy here too so I’m right there with you feeling a little down and out. I’m sorry that you are still not able to run but hopefully all that will change soon.

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